Essays

What is an essay, anyway? I just put these postings under this heading because they are the sort of thing I would write on a college entrance exam or SAT written assessment section just to fuck with the admissions staff.

A Suicide Note for the Living

The Molalla Buckaroo 4th of July Parade

Beer Church vs. Mormon Church (with comments)

The Moral Eclipse of Drug Noir Economics

Playing Los Angeles Rush Hour

Advancement Through Life

And I'm Most Definitely Going to Hell

Ten things that are not fun about soccer

Orwellian discourse on the soccer field

The APA Publication Manual Blows

And Now, a Much Less Informed Opinion (on Spin columnist Dave Eggers)

The Taming of the Sex

Golf Carts: The Transpo of the Future

Infiltrating the American Music Awards

The Super Bowl Manifesto 2005

Where Are They Now?

Is Tom Cruise Gay?