Subscription Drive for Nathan Jr.

While I freely share album, article, book, and movie recommendations as sentimental favorites, I try not to overtly brainwash you into going out into the material world and spending your precious time or money acquiring these cultural products. I often stubbornly abide by the following equations: profit-driven marketing = bad, while love-driven sharing = good.

With that in mind, it is with great pleasure that I present the closest The New Goo will ever get to a shameless advertisement. If successfully coerced by the powers of its persuasion, you would need to please forgo laziness, get off this website and take action. Because the advertised product is fairly new and potentially innovative, it is in need of a massive following, a devoted audience to help increase its likelihood of making a splash in the free market, where these days more capitalistic ventures are sinking rather than swimming. Since I so ardently believe in this product, I have even agreed to write its advertisement for The New Goo even though, given that I was recently fired from a grunt-tier position in the marketing field, the CEO here at Goo Enterprises is a bit skeptical of my ad copy writing abilities. In any event, without further ado and absolutely no respect for my inner corporate skeptic, I present my pitch for Nathan Jr.

Nathan Jr. is a monthly film commentary zine, sold for the incredibly low price of two bones at Skylight Books in Los Angeles, but charter subscriptions are readily available via email by contacting its editor/mastermind at the address: Nathanjrzine@hotmail.com.

If you’re like me and you love movies but hate the herd-mechanism Yahoo! Movies Film Reviews page with passion even Mel Gibson can’t muster, you will welcome such a publication as Nathan Jr. with open arms and an even more open mind. Nathan Jr. doesn’t condescendingly tell you what to think about movies; rather, it provides helpful guidelines for and passionate examples of how we can think for ourselves about movies, addressing our collectively individual responsibility as the viewer with wit, humor, and imagination that I can only hope will someday inject new life into the currently creatively barren film industry. Ultimately, its writers beg the question - with no sympathy, no regrets and no expectations– how can we all rise above the profit-driven Yahoo! Reviews drivel to a place where movies truly matter? To every renegade audience member whose desire to rage against the studio profiteering machine only builds as every bad genre flick is released, Nathan Jr. should come as a breath of fresh fucking air.

Now that I’ve said my piece in two uncharacteristically compact little ad-copy convenient paragraphs, I will now provide further incentive for subscribing. In a bold diversion from her wildly successful enterprise The New Goo, the crazy lady you know as Delia True actually doubles as a writer for Nathan Jr. - under an alias, of course. How she wandered onto this privileged platform, one can only wonder; however, she and I both cordially invite you to subscribe to Nathan Jr., share the love, watch more movies, read her article, “Not Just a Vin Diesel Vehicle: The Pacifier as Propaganda" (posted immediately below. Scroll down for the shocking truth and spread the news), which can be viewed in its illustration-accentuated original format by subscribing to Nathan Jr. at Nathanjrzine@hotmail.com, because, you know, this isn’t really an advertisement. It’s all about love-driven sharing, which, as I said before, is good.