Rusty Robot Misconfigured

We are restrained
these social conventions sqeaking my bones
i'm a rusty robot misconfigured
I have broken DNA
the helix is twisting backwards
You're a new house refinanced
White shutters and a putting green lawn
your conventions are corrupting my sense
throwing your money in offering
to your political action committee
Tom Delay sits on your shoulder
he wants to kill the bugs
his moral pristine, he wants someone to blame
he wants a shoulder to lean on
if he's the government
we're the bugs he must zap
we're the money he must make
as he slides back down into obscurity
poor Tom he didn't know
the abuse of his own power
but it's down the drain
the money once worth millions
bet on a scandal
flushed down the toilet with all the drugs
the cops at your door
ready to take you in
all that money all that high all the value in the
world swirling and merging with sewage informing the
rot of this great big stink
so take off your badge
your eyes are shining your Jesus is sinning
he didn't mean to
unintentionally he took you down the wrong path
it was the devil's path
and you sold all that you had
I sold all that was mine
to get right again
but to get right with the devil
is to compromise your mind
every thought is a puzzle
none of these pieces fit
and they change shapes
sometimes they form blades and cut into everything you
knew that was right
these blades are fluid and you drink them
they cut and they hurt inside
they grow abnormally
disfigured cells impairing your sight
but no
there are ghosts rubbing my eyes
trying to keep me awake
so that I may beleive in them
walking through them they give me love
all the love they hadn't given when they died too soon
to give all that they wanted to give
when what they took was too much they cried and they
died and now they have so much love to give and they
just want to give it away give it away
I'm sure but not too sure that I'm in debt
we're all in debt
it's a debt to money
value keeps us alive symbolically
invest in sex and another enters your insides
another enters my insides
I feel life inside
erotic fiction easy off my fingertips
his dick's not mechanical
it expects to be fulfilled
I don't know what to feel
my body sends insanity to my brain but I'm not sure
what to do with it so I shake
I shake and roll over and curl and I just want to be
by myself
I want alcohol to numb the sensation
because I just can't take it
we're close to human beings
so close we become one with
the other who we do not know
we do not even know our bodies
they don't understand us
bodies take over, their needs take, take, take
neutrons I gave you everything and now you're just a
negative sign
null, void, and underrated
may you travel this world an outsider
alone lonely I extract myself from you
but I give and give and give
I made you up
I made her up
you and her are but two characters in my mind
not real, unreal for the hurt you've caused can't be
real or I'd be consumed by it
the jealousy
the rejection
the imagination
I wish we were strangers
strangers in this world
strangers in this town
strangers to ourselves
I will not take from you but give
protection is my repellant
forcing me to believe that I hate you
I don't hate you
but I hate what I made you in my mind
so I try to break it down
I try to let it go
but I've suffered permanent damage
I'll always feel this way
unfortunately it's my curse
without much blessing
it's just like you said about art and personal life
I'm just like you said
are you living your theory?
are you just as content?
contentment for the artist
contentment for the artist
living your theory
living your theory
remember that theory?
fuck your theory
your theory can go fuck itself and get off me
I hope I am but a ghost to you
I hope I fade away
I hope you forget all about me
and leave me be
I'll fake my death, kill my mom's tumor, and bring
myself back to life
I'll relocate myself back home so I don't feel so close to
so close to you
but yet I hardly know you
a scar I'd self-inflicted without knowing why
your action figure is inside a plastic box
bright letters scream out to children
I'm suffocating
play with me


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