The Potential of Bullshit

You can tell a lie. Go ahead, do it. I'm so jaded and cynical I won't be the slightest bit surpised if and when it spreads thinly enough to infect rationality, transparent but thickly coated and copyright protected. Yes, it's true - attempted lies can be pawned off as fact in exchange the judgemental percentage of your brain, which is routinely used for justifications that would have seemed preposterous prior to the lie's corrupt induction into the land of truth, which, be told, is turning into a gangly jumble of homspun bullshit.

First of all, since when is evolution just a theory? Since now! Ask the cover of science textbooks in small town Wisconsin that same question and you'll get an argument in favor of extradicting Darwin from all science textbooks and replacing him with a detailed account of the anotomical process by which Eve was created from Adam's rib.

Take, for a second example, a half-truth-turned-religion that has tragically landed straight into the the brain of a close relative of mine. Back in the day, God spoke sweet nothings to a man named Joseph Smith, who interpreted the Book of Mormon on gold plates no one has ever seen from jibberish no one understands, and now fast-forward Mormonism is the fastest growing religion in the world, with missionaries infiltrating every brain that doesn't know any better. I don't usually call faith a lie (if my close Mormon relative is reading this, I'm sorry, but we've all got our opinions, and you of all people know that I am cynical and completely out of touch with my spirituality) but those with plenty of faith to spend are the easiest to convince. Mormon brand of religious faith is based upon the assumed validity of one man's word, with the resulting institutionalized hypocracy-infused morals. Don't you dare drink alcohol, caffeine, there's something wrong with you if you're a 28-year-old unmarried woman, you need to be fixed up, find a good Mormon husband, settle down, have some babies, and look on while I continue to respect your freedom of religion and celebrate my freedom to answer to no religion.

Third example needs no explanation. President Bush and his Republican elves are spinning the lies right now. Why are we in Iraq? Everybody ought to be free! Please, take your freedom for granted. For Godsakes, it's Christmas!

Let me take this opportunity, before Big Brother Alberto Gonzales gets my name, to recognize the potential of bullshit. It's everywhere. Question it. And if you don't know what to think, it's your responsibility to inform yourself. Get it while you can, before it gets you.


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