**THIS HERE BLOG IS BEING UPDATED AND SPIFFED UP AND UP SPIFFED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THREE YEARS: REJOICE!! OUT OF THE FUNK...OR INTO THE FUNK - EITHER ONE WORKS!




The Newest

Bound & Inquisitioned <-- click here (or on the picture) to view comic

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The Naked Onion <-- click here (or on the picture) to view comic

**special thanks to outgoing Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, whose likeness I ripped off for the "Bob" character (the guy in the plaid shirt). I needed someone fat & corrupt with teeny eyes, and old Hastert fit this description perfectly.

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Encountering a talking bee half the size of my head <-- click here (or on the picture) to view comic



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You best be ignorant at this juncture <-- click here (or on the picture) to view comic


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Manipulating emotional triggers


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I feel like swimming away from the computer - be sure to scroll all the way down


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Miss Misproportioned <-- click here (or on the picture) to view comic


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Johnny's Problem


Stating the Obvious



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Soliciting Advice from a Total Stranger on a Bus - maybe that lady was onto something radical...



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Those Beatles Guys: Just Getting Started - so last week I was at work when these two guys started having this conversation about the Beatles in my head. I tried to ignore them, but then, sensing my annoyance, they started singing "Yellow Submarine" a capella! They had me at gunpoint like that for awhile, demanding (mid-chorus) that I grab the nearest post-it pad and draw them spewing some of their profoundly insightful (not!) dialogue. It was a fair trade: I got silence, and they got immortality and an incredibly teeny tiny bit of an audience. This sort of thing has been happening a lot lately, and it's affecting my work ethic...actually it's fucking my work ethic and giving birth to a whole family of distracting zaniness. I would start a support group, but then I'd be the only member, and then of course the Beatles Guys would have to crash and try to engage me in a debate about whether or not there is a big "fuck you" to J. Edgar Hoover (who may or may not have been wiretapping the White Album sessions) embedded deep within the piano chords of "Why Don't We Do It In The Road." I hate those Beatles Guys.

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Black Spotlights - this is my contribution to the Los Angeles Project. You don't have to be from/in Los Angeles to contribute - submissions come from around the world. I know, the title sounds a bit geographically specific, but that's because it's meant to be a constructively humorous reaction to the super scary Manhattan Project.


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I Can Be Nicer Than That


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You Look Terrible



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A message to anyone I dealt with today at work





This'll be your suit - just like hand-me-downs




Why are you always so damn serious?




You should be dancing



Busty Encounter


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Breaking up is hard to do - next time it happens to you, don't hold back - just say it like you mean it.


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Relics Sound Off


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Honesty is not a company policy - but be sure to practice it in your head.


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What's Your Strategy?


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Temporary Solution - where all your troubles go to numb themselves and turn into uncontrollable impulses


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Fear of Alternative Energy


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Apparently a Man of the People - because cynicism always wins!



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Restless Doomed Mopey Poet-y Guy


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R.I.P.
Legend (? - 2006)
He was a good dog. Neurotic? Yes. Insane? Enthusiastically Affirmative. Missed and Loved? Forever. This is how we will remember him...




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Dispatches from the Epidemic <-- click here to view comic (and accompanying story)




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Popular Jesus Folklore - 'cause it's about time!!




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Toupes & Boobs (or Boobs & Toupes) - I am continuously amazed/amused by the power of boobs, and although I think Donald Trump is a rich fuck douchebag, I harbor no ill will towards toupes. In fact, I would have the same indifferent reaction to a toupe factory as I would have towards a condom factory. Both are reluctant forms of male protection. Boobs, on the other hand, well...if you carry yours the right way, you can move beyond the objectivification of guys who can think of nothing but sucking on 'em like babies. Boobs are major players, no doubt.






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Age 11 on Age 26 - if only I had known THEN...




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Fun With Puppetry




The Consequences of Being That Guy - C'mon, people - have a little empathy for the socially awkward outliers




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The Poster Child for Introversion -

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The Choice of the Privileged



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The Five-Year 9/11 Aftermath: Still Doing the Math, After



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Conflict as a Way of Life



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The Guards of Time





It Goes Deeper Than a Device - a comic that is ALWAYS reachable





The Drone of the Debt-Ridden Losers




In War and Hurricane - a comic with black-and-white flags, controversial shirt slogans, and a yearning for fireworks.



You Don't Know My Name - a comic that celebrates the inspirational vacuum of our delusions





Spiritual Journey into the Bulk Email




The Guy Who Thinks Too Much: Humor Edition




Instant Punk: Just Add Style





Storytime with Grandpa: Alcoholic Fate




Real Perceptive Magic - a comic especially for cynics who want to believe





Roger & Damon: Going Out with a Blunt





Untitled Donald Rumsfeld Comic





Revenge of the Villain, Part One - you best watch out




Grew Up With Guns in My Hands






The Double Dose





Roger & Damon: Detrimental Generosity - because friends like Roger care enough to know when to say "when"





Gotta Let It All Sink In






They're Hiring at the Circus - a meditation on the failed potential of the Michael Jackson hit "Man in the Mirror."





Unlikely People Standing Next to Each Other




Curly Hair Every Day - struggling to understand elderly women in the same way we try to understand teenagers


Don, Dicky, & Chucky - another one



Outside the Grocery Store - a hypothetical scenario



Ways I might answer the phone tomorrow if I feel like getting fired from my new job



Trying to Personify Chemotherapy





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I would like to take this precious moment to thank (about to be FORMER) Congressman Tom Delay (otherwise known as the most shit-talked-about-man on this blog, ever!) for his dedicated years of service to the American people.

Here he is, having a chuckle:



"After many weeks of personal prayerful thinking and analysis, I have come to the conclusion that it is time to start sucking my own dick before it gets chopped off by my insatiable hubris inflation addictions."

Tom Delay, after evicting himself from Congress like a scared pussy on April 4, 2006


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Luis and the Cult of Personality - a compelling comic inspired by an email promising a sizeable African fortune



Cartooning the Network - a compelling comic memorializing the job interview of all Job Interviews (posted March 24, 2006)





The Passion of the Paper Towel - a compelling comic about what it really means to get clean (posted March 23, 2006)



Kinda Like a Stand-In - a compelling comic about attempting to communicate with an unconscious companion (posted March 22, 2006)





Wishful Career - a compelling comic about the struggles of passionate childhood aspiration in a frighteningly robotic job market (posted March 21, 2006)





Existential Moment - a compelling comic that wonders who we really are, why we are here, and why we just can't seem to fall asleep (posted March 21, 2006)





Bee My Honey- a compelling comic about honey, bears, bees, and testing the boundaries of office uselessness in the information age (posted February 28, 2006)